A Slight Parody of the Chamber of Secrets, Ch 12
by Afterwards
Summary: What the title says
1. Part 1: Dumbledore's Office

A Slight Parody of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Chapter 12: The Polyjuice Potion

Part 1: Dumbledore's Office

**Author's Note/Disclaimer: This is one of my favorite chapters of one of my favorite books in one of my favorite series by one of my favorite authors, and now, Imma parody it for you guys! Hope you enjoy it! As you know (or you might not), Harry is about to get sent to Dumbledore's office for Petrifying Nick and that Hufflepuff kid. Enjoy! I don't own Harry Potter**

"Skittles!" said Professor McGonagall as they arrived at Dumbledore's office. "Taste the rainbow!" Almost immediately, the stone gargoyle leaped out of the way as the wall split in two. "This is where we part ways, Harry," said Professor McGonagall. "I'm afraid I need to go use the little professor's room. You'll have to see Dumbledore by yourself."

Harry nodded and stepped into the wall. Immediately, it closed behind him. Feeling trapped, Harry started to panic. Suddenly a pair of seats appeared beneath him, and he was pushed into them by an unseen force. Then a seatbelt tightened itself around him, and before he knew it, Harry found himself in a small cart, like a rollercoaster, except this one had headlights. And by the light of the headlights, Harry could see a set of rollercoaster tracks. He started to lean forward to see how far it went, when he heard an unseen female voice say, "Please remain seated. Keep your arms, legs, and wands inside the cart at all times. Enjoy the ride!"

Suddenly Harry's cart lurched forward, then pummeled downwards at 60 miles per hour. "I think I'm gonna hurl!" Harry yelled as the cart zoomed back up and made a sharp left turn. He really wished he hadn't eaten an entire blueberry marshmallow fungus pizza before lunch. Suddenly, after a sharp right turn, the cart stopped abruptly, throwing Harry forward only to get choked to death by the seatbelt.

"Please exit the cart," said the voice, and Harry gladly did so. He looked forward and saw a dimly lit hallway with torches set at certain intervals. He walked slowly down the hallway, wondering what sort of person could stand to have an office built here. When he got to the door at the end of the hallway, he was about to knock when the door opened in front of him.

"You shall not pass!" yelled Dumbledore, staring down at Harry. "If you don't study," he added. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to use the little headmaster's room. Just sit anywhere," he said, moving aside to let Harry in. "Except at the desk!" he said threateningly, "Nobody. Touches. The desk!" And with that, Dumbledore turned around and walked away.

Harry looked around the room. There were many interesting things in Dumbledore's office, and Harry was looking interestingly at a large stone bowl with some silver stuff in it, when he heard a raspy voice whispering at him from the shelves.

"Harry Potter," said the voice. Harry looked around to see who it was, but couldn't find anything. All the witches and wizards on the walls were snoring soundly. But the voice kept talking. "Over here, Potter!" Harry looked towards the direction of the voce and finally found where it was coming from. It was the Sorting Hat! "Finally," it said, "I was beginning to think you were ignorant as well as stupid." Harry ignored the insult and picked up the Hat. "My how little you've grown!" it said, looking him up and down. "Still a little on the short side, I see."

Harry also ignored that comment and proceeded to ask, "What's your point?"

"My point is, Harry, that you've got some nerve coming over here. Did you honestly think Dumbledore would forgive you after you Petrified all those people? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were innocent."

"That's because I AM innocent!" exclaimed Harry.

"That's exactly what you would say if you were guilty!"

"Or if I actually was innocent, and you were making false accusations!"

"Or if-"

"Pkaw!"

Harry and the Sorting Hat turned to look at Fawkes, who was molting quite rapidly. "Pkaw! Pkaw!" he said.

"Oh look, you've done it again, Harry!" said the Hat. "How is it you do these things? And this time it's Dumbledore's precious bird! Oh, there's no way you're off the hook now!"

"But I… I…"

"What's going on here?" said Dumbledore, opening the door. Immediately, Fawkes burst into flame, emitting a cry of terrible woe that resonated across the whole school.

"It was him," said the Hat, gesturing at Harry.

"Of course not," said Dumbledore. "Everyone knows phoenixes burst into flame every hundred years. Now, Harry, if you would be so kind, please put the Sorting Hat back on its shelf."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief and set the Sorting Hat down. "You should've seen the look on your face," whispered the Hat with a sneer, "You looked like you'd seen a ghost!" Harry decided that from that day on he would hate the Sorting Hat's guts and that someday he was gonna rip it up and make a rug out of it.

"So tell me," said Dumbledore after Harry was in his seat. "Is-"

Suddenly, Hagrid slammed the door open, and Baby Fawkes emitted a squeal of pain as he was crushed between the door and the wall.

"Please, Hagrid," said Dumbledore, "Be more careful when you come in. You know Fawkes hates it when you slam the door on him. Last week he was pecking me for months. I've still got the marks to prove it.

"Sorry, Professor," said Hagrid, "But I need ter' tell ya, it wasn' him, I swear! He's innocent! I swear in the name of the Ministry o' Magic, it wasn' him! It wasn' him, I tell ya!" Hagrid slammed his rooster on the desk, knocking over a number of Dumbledore's possesions, and making Harry jump.

"_Hagrid,"_ said Dumbledore, "I believe you! Now will you _please_ let me speak to Harry, privately!"

Hagrid, looking embarrassed, said, "Yes sir, Mr. Professor, sir," and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

"So tell me, Harry," said Dumbledore, "Is there anything you'd like to share with me? Anything at all?"

Harry thought about Malfoy saying, "You'll be next, Mudbloods!" and of the Polyjuice Potion sizzling in Myrtle's bathroom. But mostly, he thought of the voice in the wall saying, _"Kill… must kill…"_ and Ron saying, "Hearing voices nobody else can hear is never a good sign, not even in the wirading world." And about what everyone else was saying about him, how he just might possibly have a 50% chance of having something to do with Salazar Slytherin.

"No," said Harry. "Nothing at all…"

**Author's Note: Sorry to leave of that sorrowful note, but i couldn't think of a way to parody that last part. Oh, well**


	2. Part 2: Scaring Classmates

A Slight Parody of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter 12: The Polyjuice Potion

Part 2: This part wasn't actually in the chapter at all

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously danerous wizard comng through!" George cleared a path for Harry to walk through, followed by Fred and accompanied by Ron and Hermione.

"So, Master," Fred joked, "Who shall we kill today?"

I've been having my eye on someone," said Harry, playing along. "What was his name again? Draco?"

"Oh, excelent choice, Master!" said Ron, immediately catching on to their joke. "How should we kill this one? Should I use the fangs, or the venom?"

"Leave this one to me," said Harry, and walked over to Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle.

"Get away from me!" squealed Draco. "Garlicius!" There was a flash as Draco's wand produced a clove of garlic.

"Hisssssss," hissed Harry, backing away.

"I hate it when they do that," said George. "Oh well. Who else should we kill today?"

"Might I make a suggestion?" spoke up Hermione, "I wouldn't mind if Pansy Parkington dissapeared…"

Pansy immediately ran away, screaming like a banshee.

Harry laughed wildly, accompanied by Fred, George, Ron, and Hermione.

"Quit messing around, guys, this is no laughing matter," said Percy as he passed them in the hall.

"Fine," said everyone, then after he was out of earshot, "Did you see the look on Draco's face?" laughed Ron, "He looked like he was being choked by a spotted Wizzlewazzle!

Everyone laughed histerically as they remembered his pale face becoming paler, his eyes widening in fear.

"And did you see Pansy Parkington's bewildered expression?" said Hermione between laughs. "She looked like she was running from a crumple-horned Snorkshack!"

Everyone laughed harder, remembering Pansy's histerical running, pushing people out of the way, arms swinging wildly.

"Okay, okay, that's enough," said Harry. "We had our laughs, but we need to get to more serious business."

"Pssst!" whispered Ron. "Don't mention the Olyjuicepay Otionpay in Yrtlemay's athroombay in front of Edfray ang Eorgegay!"

"Guys, we speak Pig Latin," said Fred.

"You guys are making a Polyjuice Potion!" exclaimed George. "That's against the rules! I would expect better from you, Hermione!"

"But… but… but..," stammered Hermione. "Don't worry," said Fred, "Your secret's safe with us." He motioned zipping his lips shut to symbolize that he wouldn't tell anyone. Then he and George walked away, whistling innocently.

"Phew, that was close," said Ron.

"Nice going, Ron," said Harry.


	3. Part 3: Christmas

A Slight Parody of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Chapter 12: The Polyjuice Potion

Part 3: Christmas

Eventually Christmas came along and all the Gryphindors left, except for Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys, of course. So, as they had the common room all to themselves, they decided to throw a "We Have the Common Room All to Ourselves Party" on Christmas Eve, without the includance of Percy, of course. However it wasn't much of a party as there were only six people.

"Let's just go to sleep," said Hermione.

"I'll stay awake in case Santa Claus comes to bring us our presents," said Ginny.

"Wake us up if he does," said Ron, yawning loudly as he walked up to the dormitory.

The next morning, Harry was awoken by a rude shove from Hermione.

"WAGH!" he yelled as he fell off his bed.

"Oops," said Hermione. "Sorry about that. You're a really heavy sleeper."

"Just wait 'till you try to wake up Ron," said Harry.

"Oh, I already did," said Hermione, gesturing at the crushed piano scattered throughout Ron's bed. "How do you usually wake him up?"

"We put a spider on him," replied Harry as Hedwig flew into the room. She nibbled at him affectionately.

"Ow!" exclaimed Harry. "How many times have I told you not to do that? Bad owl! Bad, bad owl!"

Suddenly there was a blood-curdling scream, like a little girl being tortured to death. "SPIDER!" screamed Ron. "GET IOFF ME! GET IT OOOOOOOFFFFFFF!" He then proceeded to run around the room maniacally, not daring to touch the spider.

"Spiderus Removicus," whispered Hermione, removing the spider from Ron's back. He continued screaming.

Harry decided to check his presents. "Uh, thanks, Hermione," he said unenthusiastically as he opened his copy of _Hogwarts, A History_.

"You're welcome," said Hermione. "I knew you'd never bother to read it yourself, so I bought one for you. You could learn some very useful things that I wouldn't have to explain to you later on."

"Uh huh," said Harry as he opened his present from Ron. It was a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

"Oh, you got my present," Ron stopped screaming as he noticed Harry opening his present. "It's really cool. Wizard Yu-Gi-Oh is much better than Muggle Yu-Gi-Oh. The monsters actually jump out of the cards and attach each other in a bloody battle to the death!"

"Okay, thanks Ron," said Harry. His penultimate (a word which here means "second-to-last") present was from Mrs. Weasley. It was a wrapped package with a single envelope taped to it. The envelope had a note on the inside that said, "Due to the fact that you utterly destroyed our car, we decided not to give you a present this year. Consider it a fitting punishment for what you've done. Oh, but I could never stay mad at you! Here, enclosed in this package is a box of fudge."

_Fair enough,_ thought Harry, munching on a slice of fudge, and continued to his last present. The tag said, "From Santa Claus". He unwrapped his present and found it to be a signed autograph from Santa Claus.

"I wonder how much this would be worth on eBay," Harry wondered aloud.

"What's eBay?" asked Ron.

"It's a Muggle thing," answered Harry, still looking at the autograph. _Why such a big box for a piece of paper?_ He wondered. It was practically useless to him, and most indubitably (a word which here means "obviously") a fake, but maybe someone on the Muggle Net was gullible enough to give him a large amount of money for it.

"On a completely unrelated note," said Hermione, shifting Peter Pettigrew, I mean Scabbers, so she could sit on the edge of Ron's bed. "I've been up all morning working on the Polyjuice Potion. It's ready." She smiled evilly. The moment had come. Or at least, it would, right after dinner.


	4. Part 4: The Chapter's Namesake

A Slight Parody of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Chapter 12: The Polyjuice Potion

Part 4: The Chapter's Namesake

**Disclaimer: Would you honestly believe me if I said I owned Harry Potter? That's right, NO!**

"Commence Operation Polyjuice, Stage One, Commence!" buzzed Hermione on their magical walkie-talkie. Since it was magical, it didn't fall apart upon entering Hogwarts grounds.

"Yeah, whatever Hermione," said Ron as he arranged the poisoned cakes in the prettiest, most obvious way possible. Hermione had slipped a strong Sleeping Draught into the cakes, and they were going to have Crabbe and Goyle eat it.

Then Harry and Ron hid behind a suit of armor and waited as Crabbe and Goyle saw the cakes and go over to them. As soon as they swallowed they fell to the floor and caused an earthquake in Hawaii.

Harry and Ron then grabbed Crabbe and Goyle and stuffed them into a broom closet.

"Ooh, what have we here?" asked Peeves, floating up to them.

_Uh oh,_ thought Harry.

"Kiddies stuffing other kiddies into broom closets? Ooh, bad kiddies! Filch would be very disappointed about this…"

"No please Peeves, don't tell him, just this once!"

Please, please, please, Peeves!

Peeves produced a bell out of nowhere, threatening to ring it and wake up half the school.

"!"

"Please Peeves, we'll do anything!"

"Anything?" asked Peeves, smiling cruelly.

Harry and Ron nodded vigorously.

"Would you… say… give me your Special Edition Cuddles the Troll Yu-Gi-Oh card?"

"WHAT!" exclaimed Harry and Ron.

"You heard me."

Harry and Ron looked at each other. Cuddles the Troll was Harry's best card.

"Wouldn't you want Lord Ironclaw instead?" asked Ron, holding up a card.

"Nope, only Cuddles," said Peeves stubbornly. "This bell is pretty loud. It would be a shame if I didn't ring it…"

Harry sighed reluctantly. He handed Cuddles to Peeves.

"Goodbye Cuddles," he said sadly. "I'll miss you." A single tear formed in his eyeball and rolled down his cheek.

"A wise choice," said Peeves, getting rid of the bell. Then he flew off, cackling and ripping Harry's one and only Limited Edition Cuddles the Troll card to shreds, and with it, a part of Harry's heart.

"Okay, let's get these hairs and report to Hermione," said Ron, trying to get back on track. As they yanked Crabbe and Goyle's hairs off and walked back to Myrtle's bathroom, Harry didn't say a word, but Ron didn't push him. He knew the importance of Cuddles and the special place he held in Harry's heart.

"Operation Polyjuice, Stage One, complete," said Ron into the walkie-talkie. "This had better be worth it, Hermione. We lost Cuddles the Troll on this mission."

"What?" asked Hermione, who had no clue what they were talking about and probably thought they'd gone mad. "Whatever," she continued, "Just get to the bathroom, pronto."

At the bathroom, it smelled like crap and looked like a girl's bathroom. It also sounded like broken pipes and felt like they were about to do something they would regret.

"Yeesh, what IS that smell, Hermione?" asked Ron, holding his nose.

"That's the Potion," replied Hermione through the fog. Did I mention there was a fog? "I accidentally put too much Eye of Newt, so it's probably going to last all night. We may have to sleep in the Slytherin dorms, as we can't sleep in the Gryphindor tower as Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy Parkington. Fortunately, I strengthened the Drought on Crabbe and Goyle's cakes; they won't wake up until tomorrow morning.

"Cool," said Ron, "Except for the part about sleeping in the Slytherin rooms."

Harry remained silent.

"What's wrong, Harry?" asked Hermione, who was just starting to notice he was upset.

Harry just sniffed sadly and muttered a word. It was not until later that Hermione would find out that word was "Cuddles."

After a painfully painful transformation to painful for me to describe, Harry and Ron stared at each other, astonished that they looked exactly like Crabbe and Goyle.

"Come one out, Hermione," said Ron, knocking on her stall door. No answer. "Come on, Hermione, it's time to go!" He looked at Harry's watch, five minutes of their precious 12 hours, wasted. "What was that one unlocking spell, Harry?" asked Ron. "Hermione uses it in a lot of our later books…"

"Alohomora," whispered Harry sadly.

Suddenly the stall door flew open to reveal… an empty bathroom stall.

"Hmmm…" Ron wondered out loud. "Now where could she have gone?"

Suddenly there was a meowing behind them. Ron and Harry turned around to see a cat, dark as midnight and sleek as and invisibility cloak. And mysterious as a… something mysterious. A cat in a bathroom stall, maybe.

"Meow," said the cat pleadingly, as if trying to tell them something.

"Aw, what a cute little kitty," said Ron, reaching out to pet it.

"Meow," it said annoyedly, giving him a light scratch.

"Ow!" said Ron. "That hurt. What's it doing here, anyway?"

Harry shrugged.

"Maybe we should just throw it out the window," said Ron, gesturing at the window that wasn't mentioned before due to not being important to the plot until now.

"Hiss!" hissed the cat, as if thinking, "You wouldn't really do that, would you?

"Ok," Harry said, grabbing it and throwing it out the window.

"REEEER!" said the cat, as if thinking, "You did!" or maybe, "Oh no you just didn't!" Either way, it fell out the window.

"Let's go to the Slytherin common room, we'll look for Hermione later," said Ron.

Harry silently agreed.

Little did they know that they'd just thrown Hermione out the window. And as they walked away, Myrtle had a laughing fit at what she just saw, because she knew what had just happened, and was getting a kick out of it.

**Disclaimer: Those aren't real Yu-Gi-Oh cards**


	5. Part 5: The Slytherin Common Room

A Slight Parody of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter 12: The Polyjuice Potion

Part 5: The Slytherin Common Room

**Author's Note/Disclaimer: Wow, i haven't uploaded here in a while! I guess I've just been focusing so much on my other story, i forgot about this one. but there's not that many people reading this anyway, and I'm almost done, so.. yeah. Anyway, enjoy the penultimate chapter, because I don't own Harry Potter. And if you haven't read my other story, check it out, please?**

Harry and Ron walked through the halls of Hogwarts, wondering where to go. They knew the Slytherin common room was in the dungeons, so they headed towards there. On the way, they passed the real Crabbe and Goyle's broom closet, and saw Malfoy about to open it.

"No!" yelled Harry and Ron, running over to him.

Looking shocked, Malfoy removed his hand from the door and stared at them. "Why not?" he asked.

"We mean," said Ron, thinking quickly, "No… need to look for us in there, because we're right here!"

Malfoy narrowed his eyes, as if suspecting something, but eventually seemed satisfied with that answer and turned down the hall. "Come on, then, we need to go to the common room. I have to tell you a secret."

Harry and Ron looked at each other excitedly. Maybe this "secret" was that Malfoy was, in fact the Heir of Slytherin!

When they reached the wall covering the Slytherin common room, Malfoy muttered the password, "I Draco Malfoy, hereby solemnly swear that I am, in fact, the Heir of Slytherin."

"That's a really long password," Ron noticed.

"Yeah, so what?" asked Malfoy, marching through the doorway that had opened up. "I don't choose the passwords, go complain to whoever does!"

Harry and Ron looked at each other again. That had been a little disappointing, but there was still the chance that the password was true.

"So _are_ you the Heir of Slytherin?" asked Ron.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" exclaimed Malfoy, slumping into a chair. "No, no, no, and more, NO! When will you get that through your stupid skulls?"

Harry looked around. Surprisingly, nobody had stopped to stare at Malfoy's screaming. Apparently, he freaked out at Crabbe and Goyle a lot.

"Anyway," said Malfoy, "This is the secret I was telling you about." He got a newspaper clipping out of his pocket and handed it to Ron.

Ron read it, and as he did, his expression became more and more shocked. After he was done, he handed it to harry.

It was very wet, as if someone had cried on it, and crumpled-up, as if someone had thrown it at the ground. It said:

**Lucius Malfoy – Secrets Revealed!**

When the ministry of Magic raided Malfoy Manor last week, we found some very interesting stuff, but nothing was more shocking than this:  
>"Well, I… I… I…," was Malfoy's response when confronted about the object.<br>What was this mysterious object, you ask? Well it was none other than his super-duper, ultra-top-secret DIARY!  
>Here is just one of the most embarrassing entries:<br>"Dear Diary, Today I

The rest was ripped off, as if someone had angrily clawed it to shreds.

Harry passed it back to Malfoy, trying not to burst out laughing.

"Terrible, isn't it?" asked Malfoy. "Father had some very embarrassing secrets in that thing. It just… It just makes me want to cry…" Suddenly Malfoy started bawling uncontrollably.

Harry looked around, but surprisingly nobody was staring at them. Apparently Malfoy burst into tears often.

"It's a good thing," said Malfoy as the tears subsided. "Good thing they didn't search through our secret chamber under the drawing-room floor."

Harry noticed Ron hurriedly scribble something onto a piece of parchment, then tie it to an owl and whisper, "Send this to Arthur Weasly at the Burrow."

"Hey!" yelled the owl's owner as the owl flew out the window and Ron started whistling innocently.

"What was that?" asked Malfoy.

"Nothing," said Ron.

"Whatever," said Malfoy. "It's past my bedtime anyway."

Harry and Ron followed Malfoy t he dorms, bewildered. According to the big clock in the corner of the room, it was still 7:00 p.m.


	6. Part 6: The End

A Slight Parody of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter 12: The Ployjuice Potion

Part 6: The End

**Author's Note/Disclaimer: Final chapter! Or part, or whatever. i had a lot of fun writing this, and if you haven't read my other stories (which is about one of you), you should! Kay, bye!  
>I don't own Harry Potter.<strong>

Harry, Ron, and Malfoy walked into the Slytherin second year boys' dorm. Malfoy immediately jumped on a large and very comfortable-looking bed. A little too comfortable, Harry thought . And girly.

The bed was covered in huge fluffy stuffed animals of varying shades of pink and purple. As Malfoy jumped in, rose petals flew everywhere.

Harry and Ron stared at each other, bewildered. If only Collin was here with his camera.

When Malfoy finnnally settled in, he asked them, "Well? Aren't you gonna read me a bedtime story?"

Harry and Ron looked at each other bewildred again. Wait 'till Hermione found out about this.

Harry grabbed a book that was sitting on Malfoy's bedside table and began to read.

"Once upon a time there was a little fairy princess," he said in Goyle's gruff voice.

And so, as Harry proceeded to read about the fairy princess wandering through the mushroon forest, Ron decided to look for their beds. Hopefully they weren't as embarrassing.

Ron spotted them immediately, as hey were the only two beds that were covered in heart-shaped pictures of Malfoy.

"Um, Harry? I mean Goyle?" whispered Ron.

Harry didn't stop reading but nodded to show he wass listening. Malfoy shivered as Harry told about the fairy princess getting attacked by a ferocious mouse.

"Look towards our beds," whispered Ron.

Harry turned in his chair but continued reading about the fairy princess producing a wheel of cheese to distract the mouse.

Harry glanced up and dropped the book from shock, but fortunately Malfoy was already snoring peacefully.

"Merlin's beard," swore Harry. "They're got it bad."

Ron nodded. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight with all those Malfoys watching me with their beady little eyes."

Harry agreed. "Maybe we can sneak back to Myrtle's bathroom and sleep there."

"Great, let's hurry," said Ron.

They ran off down the stairs but then they saw the common room still filled with Slytherins.

Ron cursed. "How are we gonna get past them? It'll look strange if Crabbe and Goyle are walking around without Malfoy."

Just to prove his point, Pansy Parkington walked up to them and said, "Crabbe, Goyle, what are you guys doing walking around without Malfoy?"

"Um… Uh…," stammered Ron.

"We need to get Draco his allergy pills," said Harry, thinking fast. "He left them in the Great Hall."

"Oh," said Pansy. "I didn't know Draco had allergies."

"There's a lot you don't know about Draco," said Ron, slowly creeping towards the exit. "For example, he has allergies."

Then Harry and Ron ran out of there before she could figure out what was wrong.

When Harry and Ron got to Myrtle's bathroom, they found Myrtle laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" asked Ron.

"Nothing," said Myrtle, the jumped into her toilet, splashing water everywhere.

"Hermione?" called Harry.

"Hermione?" called Ron.

"!" laughed Myrtle.

And that's pretty much how they spent the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>The next day, Professor McGonagal opened the front doors to find Hermione sprawled on the floor, dirty, smelly, and wearing rags.<p>

"Why, Ms. Granger, what happened?" asked McGonagal, helping her up.

"Woke up…," mumbled Hermione. "Middle of the forest… surrounded by cats… Almost got killed… by a dog… Strange craving… for mice… Horrible… Horrible!"

"Oh my," said McGonogal. _She's obviously suffering some sort of mental disease._ "Let's get you to Madam Pomfrey, shall we?"

Along the way, she passed by a closet door that had some strange sounds coming from it. She opened it and Crabbe and Goyle stumbled out.

"Thanks, Professor MacGonagal," said Crabbe.

"We woke up in there," said Goyle. "No memory of what happened…"

"Well, get to your common rooms," said Proffessor McGonagal, and continued guiding Hermione to the infirmary as they walked off towards the dungeons.

Then she saw some brown things on the floor that looked like shredded pieces of paper. _Peeves,_ was the first thought that came into her mind. _Oh well, Filch will clean it up._

She continued walking until she passed Harry and Ron, looking disgrulted, their robes in tatters, wearing shoes way too big for them, and smelling like they'd slept in a bathroom.

"Why, boys," she said. "You look awful! And don't even get me started on the smell!"

"Hermione," said Ron. "We were looking for you all night. Where were you?"

"Ugh," said Hermione. "You threw me out the window!"

_Wow,_ thought McGonagal. _Everyone seems to be suffering a mental illness today._


End file.
